Episode 3: Breaking the Good Girl Spell: No Is Not Rejection, It’s Reclamation
You were taught to be nice. To smile. To stay small, agreeable, digestible. You were trained—maybe not in words, but in tone, in tension, in what got praised and what didn’t—to be the “good girl.”
And for a while, it worked.
You were liked.
You were needed.
You kept the peace.
But inside, you were disappearing.
The Spell of the Good Girl
Let’s be real—the “good girl” isn’t just a trait. She’s a spell. A survival strategy passed down in hushed tones and tight smiles through generations of women. She is the one who:
Says yes when her soul screams no.
Smiles when she wants to scream.
Softens, fixes, apologizes for existing.
Being good is not the same as being whole.
Being liked is not the same as being safe.
The cost of this performance? Chronic burnout. Quiet rage. Disconnection from your intuition. And the worst betrayal of all—the one where you abandon yourself.
No Is a Sacred Word
I want to speak directly to the part of you that’s exhausted. The one who says yes out of habit or guilt. The one who fears that saying no will make her less lovable.
Let me offer you this truth:
Every time you betray your “no,” your body keeps the receipts.
And here's the thing: most of us are walking around with abandonment wounds, but the person who betrays us most often? Ourselves.
A Moment of Embodiment
Let’s pause.
Bring to mind a recent moment you said yes—but didn’t mean it.
Feel it in your body. Where is the tension?
Then gently—aloud or inside—say this to yourself:
“I honor the version of me that thought she had to say yes to be loved.”
“I am safe now. I am allowed to protect my peace.”
“No is not rejection. It is reclamation.”
Let that vibrate through you.
My Good Girl Breakup
There was a time when I over-functioned for everyone—clients, family, friends. I was the wise one, the helper, the rock. But I was quietly raging. Grieving. Shrinking.
Then one day…I stopped.
I didn’t soften my “no.” I didn’t over-explain. I just set the boundary. And no, the world didn’t fall apart. But my nervous system did a little happy dance. That was my first real taste of sovereignty.
Try This Practice This Week:
❌ Say no without spiraling.
❌ Say no without explaining.
✅ Say no when your soul says no.
You don’t need to be agreeable to be loved. You don’t need to perform to be worthy. You are already whole.
Want to Go Deeper?
💫 I’ve created free resources to help you shed the performance and remember who you are underneath the spell.
🌀 Explore free tools at practicalspiritualismco.com
🌐 Or dive into my guided Future Self Visualization to begin embodying the version of you who already owns her “no.”
We don’t need more nice girls.
We need sovereign women who are whole, wild, and free.
And if you’re reading this—you’re one of them.
🔗 Mentioned in this Episode:
Mirror Practice Mantra (Save this!)
“I honor the version of me that thought she had to say yes to be loved.”
“I am safe now. I am allowed to protect my peace.”
“No is not rejection. It’s reclamation.”
Free Resource Hub:
🌀 practicalspiritualismco.com
Brightest of blessings,
Dawn xo
Your Contrarian Soul Guide
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