Freedom in the Little Things
This morning as I was reading on detachment my awareness was drawn to the coffee beside me. Slowly the awareness unfolded. We think of attachment often as big things like addiction, but attachment is really about senses and how they create our expectations and compulsions. Drinking a cup of coffee that you enjoy is fine. Needing to drink it is not. Whether that need is because of the outcome of drinking caffeine or the habit that changes your mood if you can’t have it; you, the Self, is not in control, your senses are, and they are directing your mind and your body.
Healthy Boundaries
I definitely did not have healthy boundaries when I was younger. Low self-esteem had me willing to take the scraps of other people’s time and attention. Wow, that sounds really sad! But, it is the truth. It wasn't until I started to work on my self-worth that I was able to start setting boundaries, and at first I didn't handle it in a healthy way. Usually it was done with resentment, pissed off that I had to set it and people didn't just 'know'. This is really confrontation as opposed to setting boundaries, let alone healthy ones. This passive-aggressive behaviour often ‘bit me in the ass’ with relationships falling apart and my own self-disappointment.
To be able to set a healthy boundary we must first journey inward.
Are You Your Thoughts?
In short, no.
Quite often, when I am working with clients, I suggest they name the voices in their head. The narrators. You know those voices, the criticizer, the congratulator, the righteous one, the scared one, the bitchy one, and so on. The reason I ask for people to do this is so that they can understand that they are not those voices but the One who hears or experiences them. We are also the one who chooses to hear them or believe in them or not.
New Years’ Resolution 2023
I have never been great with making new year's resolutions. I can’t really explain why but they always felt unauthentic when I tried. I would try to make a list of things I wanted to change about myself, and then either start off feeling crappy about myself which would often lead to lousy self-talk, or I would start strong for a month or two before going back to old habits. Truthfully, if we want to make changes in our life, the best time to begin is now (no matter what day of the week or year that is.)
It is not that I think new year’s resolutions are bad by any means. It is just that I wonder at our intention behind them. What are we really trying to achieve? Usually there is a deeper desire beneath the resolutions we set. But also, the question begs to be asked, who’s setting it?
5 Steps towards Self-love
We are in the midst of a worldwide self-love crisis. The reason is that we don’t truly know who we are. We are no longer at peace with ourselves, let alone others. The result is that we don’t feel comfortable or safe.
When we feel uncomfortable and unsafe we can have a tendency to give our power away to those around us, or, we can hoard it behind defenses that cause us to become disconnected from ourselves and others.
So how do we cultivate Self-love?
In this article we offer five steps to assist in nurturing Self-love in your life and the live of those around you.
Welcome to the Light-side!
“There is so much Light in you. I see it. I want you to see it too.” ~ Dawn
The Secret to Happiness
Most of us, when we were young, were taught to look for happiness outside of ourselves. Maybe not directly, but indirectly by the things that we were encouraged to do and attain. Things like the importance of the career we chose, the importance of secondary education, or a job. Or the push of a relationship, marriage or having children, and even owning a home. There is also the stuff we own and the experiences we have, such as travel and vacations. What about the importance of how we look - nip, tuck, and maintain along with diet, sweat, push, and drive. We do all in an effort to seek happiness. If these things are supposed to make us happy, then why aren't we?
So what is the secret to happiness?
Justifying My Existence
…through all of this there has remained a silent subconscious belief that I am not worthy. No matter how hard I work I don’t deserve my success. No matter how hard I try to be a good mom, I feel like I am failing. No matter how much I love my hubby, I don’t deserve him... No matter how loyal I am, people will always leave. All of this has caused me to work longer hours, try harder, push through pain and illness, and silently beg to be accepted and loved.
Daily Living Rituals of a Spiritual Journey - step 8
With so much mass media being presented to us these days I have learned that it is imperative for me to start each day by reading something that helps support the direction we want to grow. Unintentionally, I took a year off from this practice in 2021 and noticed a change in my daily mental and emotional health.
Daily Living Rituals of a Spiritual Journey - step 7
Many of us struggle because our families and long term friends are not interested in our journeys (YET!); so it can feel very lonely and isolating. I encourage you to keep chatting to others about what you are reading and looking for. The more open you are about what you desire to become, the more intimacy you create - we are weaving our intuition in with living with an open heart and awakening mind.
Daily Living Rituals of a Spiritual Journey - step 6
It cannot be ‘us versus them’ AND ‘we are part of the whole’ without causing self-harm.
Each time we put our own needs first or dwell on ourselves we strengthen the separation between us. This is a huge conflict with our true purpose in life, which is to remember or re-member.
Daily Living Rituals of a Spiritual Journey - step 5
Whether it is the food we eat, the books we read, the entertainment we watch and listen to, we are being pushed and pulled by the dictatorship of rigid likes and dislikes. So wouldn’t this mean that we are being manipulated by our past experiences and sensory stimulation?
Daily Living Rituals of a Spiritual Journey - step 4
I used to wake up with my mind already flying through my list of tasks to be done. I would begin on the fly with my heart rate going up and tension in my body. I wasn’t even aware of it, it simply was my existence. Most days I would go to bed worrying whether I had done enough, or if what I had done was right. This would all bring on the gifts of tension headaches and a stiff aching body. Sound familiar?
Daily Living Rituals of a Spiritual Journey - step 3
“When I started to dedicate myself to my healing journey one of the biggest adjustments was the commitment to my spiritual journey. I have looked at many ‘styles’ trying to figure out what resonated for me, what was my truth. As I touched each path of belief I grew to understand that there is a vast difference between ‘right and wrong’ versus ‘for me or not for me’. “
Daily Living Rituals of a Spiritual Journey - step 2
“Meditation is coming into the seat of awareness, becoming aware of what thoughts and what emotions have been guiding our choices and decisions. This can be extremely uncomfortable and scary, especially if you have a habit of negative self-judgement. However, this is where we learn the first step of forgiveness and compassion. After All these thoughts and emotions are sly, and they make a ‘good case’ for getting to stay. But in meditation we create a pause or gap that allows us to be aware and in that space choose again. It is NEVER too late to choose again! “
Daily Living Rituals of a Spiritual Journey - step 1
“Back when my life was over the top hectic my doctor suggested meditation as a tool to help me center and relieve stress. I tried it and thought it was a ‘neat idea’ but didn’t give it a ton of value, nor did I make it a priority by any means. Then, after struggling with a concussion for many months with ALL of my doctors and caregivers nagging me to meditate I started to dig in a little deeper.”
Another Disappearing Act
As many people do, I struggle at times with my creative flow, often not meeting my own expectations. I am usually quite gentle with myself these days as berating myself has proven to have less than zero value.
Suffering - Friend or Foe?
Think of suffering like a road sign, ‘GO BACK, you’re going the WRONG WAY!’ We receive many warnings prior to this - pain ahead, turmoil coming - but we either don’t pay attention or blow them off as something ridiculous, so we speed up rather than slow down.
Awakening Light
The mind has a tremendous ability to dwell on things. We can channel this ability to dwell completely on The Light. Same ability, different focus!
Self-care: what does it mean?
Are you a care giver?
What I mean by that is, do you care for and take care of all those around you? Are you often burnt out; your energy stores completely depleted?
Identity Crisis: You are not your experiences
No matter what has happened in your life, you are not any of the things you have experienced.