How to Stop People-Pleasing: A Guide to Setting Boundaries and Embracing Your True Self

How To Stop People Pleasing

A Guide to Setting Boundaries and Embracing Your True Nature

When I was younger I had a deep desire to be accepted. I often felt I was on the outside looking in. I would try very hard to be what I thought others wanted me to be. The problem was, even if they liked me, I couldn’t keep it up without feeling either exhausted or resentful. I created this looping pattern called people pleasing. Maybe you’ve experienced it?

It’s that urge to keep everyone around you happy, often at the expense of your own well-being. If you find yourself constantly saying “yes” to others and “no” to yourself, this is your call to action. It’s time to break free from people-pleasing, set boundaries, and reclaim your true self.

Understanding People-Pleasing: Why Do We Do It?

People-pleasing isn’t just about being nice; it’s about seeking approval and avoiding conflict. Deep down, it’s driven by a fear of rejection or not being liked. We’ve all been there—shifting ourselves to fit into others' expectations just to keep the peace. While it might seem harmless, over time, this behavior can lead to burnout, resentment, and a loss of self.

So, why do we do it? Often, it comes from a place of insecurity or a desire to feel valued. We’ve been conditioned to believe that our worth is tied to how much we can do for others. But here’s the truth: Your value isn’t determined by how well you please others. It’s about how true you can be to yourself.

The Hidden Costs of People-Pleasing

When you’re constantly trying to please everyone else, you’re neglecting your own needs. This can leave you feeling drained, anxious, and disconnected from who you really are. You might find yourself agreeing to things that don’t align with your values or staying silent when you should speak up. Over time, this can create a deep sense of dissatisfaction and even resentment toward those you’re trying so hard to please.

But perhaps the biggest cost of people-pleasing is that it distances you from your true Self. By constantly adapting to others' needs, you lose touch with your own desires, values, and passions. The result? A life that feels inauthentic and unfulfilling.

Breaking Free: The Path to Self-Sovereignty

So, how do we break free from this cycle? The journey begins with self-awareness. Start by recognizing when and why you’re people-pleasing. Is it out of fear? Is it to avoid conflict? Or maybe it’s because you don’t want to disappoint someone? Understanding your triggers is the first step toward reclaiming your power.

The Importance of Setting Boundaries

Once you’re aware of your people-pleasing tendencies, it’s time to start setting boundaries. Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out—they’re about protecting your own well-being. When you set boundaries, you’re telling yourself and others that your needs matter.

Start small. Practice saying “no” to things that don’t serve you. This might feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re used to saying “yes” all the time. But each time you set a boundary, you’re honoring your own needs and making a powerful statement of self-respect.

Embracing Your Authentic Self

People-pleasing often leads us to hide our true selves. We become who we think others want us to be, rather than who we really are. But the truth is, the world needs your authenticity. When you show up as your true self, you attract relationships and opportunities that are aligned with who you really are. You don’t need to be everything to everyone. You just need to be you.

Practical Tips to Stop People-Pleasing

Ready to start making these shifts? Here are some practical tips to help you break free from people-pleasing:

Check in with Yourself: Before agreeing to something, pause, take a deep breath, and ask yourself if it truly aligns with your values and desires.
Practice Small No’s: Start saying “no” to small things. This will help you build confidence to set bigger boundaries. Don’t forget, No is a complete sentence. You can say it kindly without justifying your answer.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Spend time with those who respect your boundaries and encourage your authenticity. Those people that leave you feeling good or charged up.
Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself during this process. Breaking the habit of people-pleasing takes time and practice. Shaming and belittling ourselves does the opposite of what we are trying to achieve.

Reclaiming Your Power Through Self-Sovereignty

Self-sovereignty is all about living in alignment with your truth. It’s about taking full responsibility for your life and your happiness. It’s not about rejecting others, but about embracing yourself. The more you honor your needs, the more you’ll find yourself attracting the right people and opportunities into your life.

So, as you move forward, I encourage you to start prioritizing yourself. It’s not selfish—it’s necessary for your well-being and growth. You deserve to live a life that feels true to you, free from the pressure to please others at the cost of your own happiness.

Thank you for joining me on this journey today. Remember, breaking free from people-pleasing is a process, but with each step you take, you’re moving closer to a life of authenticity, Self-respect, and Self-sovereignty.

I see the light in you. And it is brilliant.

Brightest of blessings,

Dawn xo

The Awakening Light

Feel free to share this post with anyone who might benefit from it, and don't forget to leave your thoughts in the comments below!

(And don’t forget to follow us on You Tube, Facebook, Instagram, and coming soon…TikTok)